Friday, June 28, 2013

Guest Blog Post - "The Bell Tolls for Thee"

Something new!    Writing this blog can sometimes get a bit old, so to change things up thi week we have a guest post!   Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Compass!    This was written after our ride together last Sunday.....

She cleans-up pretty well!

The Bell Tolls for Thee
I have never been one for waking up early.  In fact, after 36 years of life on this planet, I can proclaim with certainty that almost nothing good ever happens before noon.  Triathlon has become a pastime that I absolutely adore, yet still, when race day comes – I find that the hour of my alarm clock is nearly as daunting as the race itself!  So when my faithful cycling comrade (whom I refer to as “Vidal”) emailed me last week to say that he would like Saturday’s ride to start at 7 a.m., I nearly slammed my head against the keyboard.  I knew this might be the last time I would be able to ride with Vidal for weeks to come, but 7 A.M.???  Frantically, I emailed back – “7 a.m. riding or 7 a.m. ‘hair & makeup’?”  This is what Vidal has nicknamed the (admittedly) inordinate amount of time I spend messing with my bike shoes, my helmet and my 8 layers of clothing on every ride.  Thankfully, he conceded to my plea.  “7 a.m. hair & makeup”.  Phew! 
Saturday morning came, and I rolled into Vidal’s driveway at 7 a.m. on the dot.  I noticed immediately that The Slut was not parked outside as usual, and the garage door was closed.  There was no smell of coffee - no chirpy British voice harrying me to shake off the morning and stop scowling.  What could be going on here?
I pulled up Vidal’s facebook page and immediately got my answer.  Apparently, “One Direction” happened.  That’s right.  Zayn, Liam, Harry, Louis and (everyone’s favorite -) Niall.  The pictures told me all I needed to know.  In spite of the fact that Vidal wasn’t smiling in any of these concert photos, it was clear that he, SWMBO, and the little Sassoons had had one heck of an exciting Friday night.
After one text message and one unanswered phone call later, I could only assume that he had likely gone deaf from adolescent, female screaming.  A slight smirk appeared on my face.  In the few minutes that had passed, I had already come up with several good punch lines at Vidal’s expense.  Finally – after being the butt of so many (usually accurate) jokes, I would have my vengeance.
Just then, Vidal burst from the house and onto the footpath.  Well, “burst” may be a bit of an exaggeration.  He swung open the door wobbled through it, looking discombobulated.  He muttered something that sounded vaguely like, “I’ll be freddie in a few thin-mints.  I stared in confusion at the once again closed door and wondered if he’d ever be coming back.  He returned shortly thereafter carrying coffee and looking pitiful.  I couldn’t even bring myself to use any of my well-formed punch lines.  Instead, I sat patiently beside my readied bike, residing myself to the hope that this would possibly buy me some future credit.
Unbeknownst to me at the time, Vidal would have some credit owed to SWMBO as well.  Turns out that my earlier call had awoken him so abruptly that he leapt out of bed shouting “Get the phone! Get the phone!”  SWMBO responded sleepily to inform him that their bedroom phone was not ringing, which only escalated his frazzled ranting.  When she finally awakened to his satisfaction and held out the receiver (featuring only a dial tone), he acknowledged that it must be his cell . . . which was downstairs . . . oops.
Anyway, once the coffee (and the pillow lines on Vidal’s face) had dwindled, we finally did head out for our moderate 35-miler.  Having not ridden in any serious fashion since the Raleigh 70.3 three weeks earlier, I expected the hills to be a little rough. Turns out they felt brutal!  Clearly my legs must have sustained some sort of atrophy from sitting in Vidal’s driveway for so long.  This ride also included an impromptu pedal-for-our-lives interval, courtesy of a dog that looked like Lassie but did a fair impersonation of Kujo.  And the coups de gras of the morning occurred when traveling 32 mph downhill and having some newbie jogger step directly in front of my wheel.  Managed to avoid injury to either one of us, though I thought about pulling over and leaving him (and any of his potential offspring) with something to think about.
Having said all of that, I did enjoy this ride.  It was a great workout with great weather - and it is always nice to spend time with the Sassoons (especially after biking, when we can all exchange punch lines together!).  I look forward to my next weekend cycling adventure with Vidal – though I suspect it will not be at 7 a.m.

Note from me.....    I'm in a band!!    Awesome!    And I have by far the best hair!


  1. The quality of writing on this blog just went up several notches.